SR 1 PAGE ONE-HUNDRED AND TWENTY-SEVEN

A thesis statement emerges! Right here on the third-to-last page of the entire book! The climactic revelation of a point!

That’s right: the entirety of Serenity Rose: Working Through the Negativity was about paralysis all along. Artistic paralysis. Creative paralysis. Life paralysis. That feeling of knowing you have some specific talents, but having no idea what to do with them.

I’ve felt that paralytic uneasiness basically my whole life, and I suspect a lot of people reading this feel it, too. For as long as I can remember, people have been telling me I’m pretty good at drawing and telling stories, and while it’s always flattering to hear that stuff, this one little question keeps scritching at the back of my brain: “What’s the point?” Why am I drawing this? Why am I writing this? Why should I bother doing any of this at all?

As Sera says in my first SR short film, Serenity’s Plot, “Why does life have to be so… vague?”

If you have an interest in, say, electrical engineering or optometry or whatever, the “What’s the point?” question probably doesn’t claw at your brain too much. Clearly, people need wiring and eyeballs. But do they need art? My art?

Impossible!

For many (most?) artists, the Big Point Of It All is that making art is fun and they want their lives to be fun. That’s awesome! OH, HOW I ENVY THEM. But my brain disallows this. “Sure, we want to have fun,” it whines, horribly, “but there has to be something more. Our art skills have to help people.”

What an awful thing for your brain to do to you! But them’s the breaks, I guess.

I hope this odd thing I’ve chosen to do with my skills has helped people, at least in some small way. And, honestly, “small way” is pretty much what we’re dealing with here, and it’s more than good enough for me. The thought that these comics might matter to someone is what keeps the paralysis at bay.

STRAY THOUGHT: Still really like that detail about Rivet Hed trying to buy the bus from Sera’s horrible meltdown. It reminds me of when Trent Reznor turned the house where Sharon Tate and four others were murdered into a recording studio for The Downward Spiral. So gross. I mean, I love you, Trent, but come on.

SR 1 PAGE ONE-HUNDRED AND TWENTY-EIGHT

This page would strongly benefit from a little color. Or even a lot of color. Just imagine a big intense burst of Sera-blue butterflies for the big climactic moment of the book. It would’ve been awesome set against that bone-white FU finger.

Although… you probably aren’t even imagining the butterflies as blue at all, are you? The cover of issue five shows Vicious conjuring her standard pink butterfly. At the time, I might even have been thinking of the ones on this page as pink. But why would Sera conjure butterflies in V’s signature color instead of her own?

In all likelihood I wasn’t thinking about color at all when I drew this page. I was still scared of color in 2004. That would change, but it took a while. SR book two has little touches of color here and there (Sera’s bangs, Tess’ hair, green for all the ectoplasm), and book three has a full color page at the end, but I didn’t attempt to color an entire graphic novel on my own until… well, 2023 and SHOCK CITY.

How did I break from all those decades of tenacious color-fear? By painting a kid’s book, IT’S NOT SCARY! Just wanted to challenge myself and get over this weird, overblown terror. And it worked! 

I don’t think I’m a particularly good colorist, but at least I can dive into it without fear-paralysis now. And I can only get better from here.

Color is fun! Try it or whatever!

BACK TO THE PRESENT!

HAPPY NEW YEAR (hopefully)! Ideally you had a nice, long, relaxing break over the holidays, and if you didn’t, please take one now, immediately, before you even finish reading this sentence. Break your employer’s kneecaps if need be!

We had a nice time in Chicago. Ate way too much, unwrapped some awesome books, went to a cool exhibit about cats at the Field Museum, saw a lovely animated feature called Flow at the Music Box, and just generally enjoyed spending some time with my family. Except for the time we spent on that diabolically difficult Mickey Mouse puzzle. That thing can go straight to the Hot Place.

The best part of Christmas, 2024, though, was seeing my beloved Hot Dog People freshly painted and ready to rule the earth once more.

Go get ’em, Maurie and Flaurie!

NEXT WEEK: HOME.