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WHOOF this is a weird one to re-read two weeks before the apocalypse (potentially).

It’s hard to read this page without connecting it to all the right wing horrors that have descended upon us since I wrote it. Back in 2004, 4chan was in its infancy, “incel” had barely been defined, and Gamergate was yet to be a twinkle in a single goblin’s eye. The Apprentice had just premiered, but wouldn’t be associated with fascist nihilism for another twelve years. It was all bubbling, though. The “everything sucks” to “let’s hand it over to Hitler” pipeline was already being built.

Those pimply-faced dudes in the Rivet Hed shirts are part of that pipeline. And they were everywhere in 2004. Teenage edgelords who thought no person, system, or ideology was worth believing in, “progress” was a lie, and the only thing that mattered was to get a few LOL’s in before you die at age 30 (Logan’s Run-style). That kind of worldview has always been around, but for some reason it seemed especially potent for people my age around the turn of the millennium.

Not sure why! Lot of theories… Maybe Gen X caught the nihilism bug from what we witnessed happen to the Boomers? In barely two decades we watched with our own eyes as those guys arced from idealistic campus activists to Reaganite thugs defending the status quo by any means necessary. 1968: Put a daisy in the barrel of a cop’s rifle. 1988: Put a bullet in your AR-15 to kill the homeless guy on your lawn. Not saying that’s true of the entire Boomer generation, but it happened often enough to feel true of the entire Boomer generation. All their flowery words just sorta felt like… helium. Whatever anyone says, many of us reasoned, ultimately they’re just in it for themselves.

Which made our brains ripe for South Park-ian both-siderism. You know, the stuff that seems very smart and worldly on its surface, but curdles into sludgy apathy every time a brain embraces it.

And that’s when the authoritarians come in. “Don’t worry, Sludgy Brain, we’ll do the thinking for you.” That can be an alluring message, especially when the authoritarians look like you, tell you you’re right everything’s falling apart, but insist you’ll be taken care of.

So disillusionment leading to nihilistic hedonism leading to sludge-brained tool of totalitarianism…

(Oh, that’s Fight Club, right? Did I understand Fight Club? Don’t want to be one of those people who didn’t get Fight Club!)

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I still agree with everything Vicious is saying here. Although I’d probably be less judgy about it now. (That’s been the recurring theme of this re-read!) Vicious is trying to use the Stick of Guilt to THWACK the listener to believe in a beautiful dream. But it’s hard to believe in things! Whenever someone opens up enough to tell me about their dreams, I try to go for subtle encouragement rather than THWACK. I mean, I’ve never felt motivated by scolding, so why use that strategy on anyone else?

But then I’m not Vicious, of course.

That bridge in panel one is the Bridge of Sighs in Oxford, England. Have I mentioned Oxford before? It’s a beautiful place. I first visited with my family in the late 90’s and the solemn, weathered antiquity of the architecture made a huge impact on me. There’s a lot of Oxford in Crestfallen. They’re both places that feel like they’re full of ancient secrets.

You know, I’ve never actually looked up the history of the Bridge of Sighs, so why don’t I do that right now! Google google google and…

Okay, well, forget “ancient.” That bridge has only been there since 1914. Barely older than my own grandmother. The same year Winsor McCay released Gertie the Dinosaur.

On the other hand, apparently the Bridge of Sighs was a shooting location for X-Men: First Class? That’s something, right?

BACK TO THE PRESENT!

WE HAVE RETURNED FROM THE EAST!

Had a great time in NYC and toodling around New England. Didn’t get killed by any Pennywises or Salems Lots, but we did hang out with Baphomet, eat the world’s oldest burger, wander two different false medieval castles, visit a tavern frequented by George Washington, and see many, many colorful leaves. (That last one was the weirdest for two Californians.) We also hung out at the boulder pile where Ami’s ancestor hid after signing the death warrant for King Charles I, but I don’t have time to get into all that right now. It was a wonderful trip, and we’re already looking forward to another voyage to the northeast someday.

And thanks so much to everybody who came out to the signing in NYC! The turnout at Comic-Con was frankly nuts. The only other times I’ve signed books non-stop for an hour have been ZIM events with Jhonen next to me, so it was really gratifying to have that experience with my own work. And the Forbidden Planet event went great, too! Kind of a dream come true to be slinging my book at that legendary institution. Appreciated having a little extra time to chat with people there. Best of both signing experiences that day, basically, but exhausting as hell.

More signing to come!

Still feeling slightly woozy after a couple days at home… Long-lasting jet lag? Imminent COVID? I’ll let you know next week!

NEXT WEEK: SIOUX, JOHN, MOZ.